Hernia Hernia Go Away!

WEll when he was in ICU they discovered he had again another hernia (from all the gagging). The only thing to do is surgery again but he is to much of a high risk to go under right now. We finally got him stable! However, he threw up twice last thursday. He also has been having more food in his tummy than usual. So this means at times he is not digesting everything because of the hernia (food is shifting everywhere). It is not a constant thing yet so not gonna go into worry mode yet. I really don't think we will do surgery unless he really isn't digesting 1/2 of his usual intake. This will then be a major problem. Pedi doesn't think he will get through surgery if he does go under. So yes we traded one problem for another in the mean time. Another thing that can also affect him is throwing up and aspriating on it (going into lungs). It's like one BIG CYCLE. We are going to see the surgeon in Aug. to discuss what we basically already know (haha).

On a good note.....he will be turning 3 years old on June 25!!! He has gone through so much in 3 years....gosh my baby boy is a super human baby. Thank you Lord for these blessed (although tough at many times) years of having time with my precious lil guy. I think about all the kisses, hugs, half smiles, and unspoken communication he shows us with those beautiful eyes. He is our angel. Thank you Lord for Joshua.

cruise control

so we've been seeing the pediatrican every week so he can keep track and monitor him. The last thing he said to us was we were on cruise control. In this he means he isn't getting better and isn't getting worse. However the last couple of days we managed to take him off oxygen and the cpap (blows air to keep his airway opened). He actually only uses the cpap while asleep. He is such a fighter...Joshua is superbaby for sure. So he actually looks better!!!! Will post later, it's Isaac's b-day today so we are off to celebrate (6yrs). Thank you for all your prayers. Just continue to pray for God's will...that is the only thing I pray for. Thank you again.

Sleep Baby Sleep

Well I really don't have a lot of time to post a whole lot right now. Joshua is still sick. He is currently on 3liters of oxygen and throughout the day on the cpap (looks like an oxygen mask but blows air to keep airway opened when he is having a hard time). We are doing treatments and doing everything like we usually do except we aren't on antibiotics. He has already tried 3-4 different ones and nothing really helped. So now we just wait and give him time. Hopefully that left side opens up and he clears up more. Right now he is needing lots of suctioning and constant monitoring. He does look more relaxed at home and rests more. He sleeps on and off throughout the day. So basically the key phrase I hear a lot from the doctors is "unfortunately we don't have a crystal ball" so Joshua can get better slowly or worse slowly. Well, at this point I'm just taking it day by day. I thank God for every day he gives me with him....whether it is days, months, or many years. However and whatever goes on I know the Lord knows best. This is what I am trusting and believing. My prayer is for Joshua to be happy and not suffer. Everything else will be taken care of by my Father in Heaven. So for now I am just letting him sleep all he wants cause he really needs to rest. Staying in the hospital for long periods of time really is draining. I know I haven't caught by yet and I'm not the one getting treatments and suctioned constantly....I can't imagine how tired he must feel.

Those of you who have been praying for us I thank you. I pray for strength, peace, and his Will. Another quick thing I want to address. Sometimes I think people want to be their for us, do something for us, or even say something to us. However, it is hard to figure out "what". I just want to say it's ok. Please don't concentrate on these things because sometimes these things aren't even the most important things that need to be done. The most important thing to us is to know you are there. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just listen. A recent thing I shared with a friend was telling them we are really not looking or waiting for the magical comforting word/words of wisdom. I think when people focus so much on these things it takes over and then all you have is avoidence. When it gets to hard for people they tend to just avoid the situation. In this case, I understand it is hard for some to see my little guy sick. Just having someone be there is the best thing.

As far as pictures I will have to post later.

Terrible Two?? Wonderful Two!!

Well, his birthday is coming up. We have noticed he is very vocal now and cries when he is not HAPPY. It is really cute to see him with his little tantrums. It always makes me smile to see him cry unless of course it is cause of a seizure or something hurting him. He also had his first dental appointment. He totally hated it of course. He put up a fight---way cute though. Funny how the little things are appreciated. Heatlh wise, he is doing ok right now. I'm not really happy about his seizures but he is not as bad as he has been in the past. He is now putting up a fight at night giving us a hard time when we put the cpap machine on him--little stinker.
These last couple of days he has been smiling a lot, especially late evenings. He hadn't really been smiling I guess because he wasn't doing so well with all that was going on with him.
I sit him up against the sofa and he loves it. He looks around and is so peaceful. Usually when he smiles it is at random times. However, two days ago he was actually responding to me. For at least five to ten minutes while playing with him (kissing his hand, talking to him, shaking his arm, and lightly rubbing his cheek)he was actually smiling and teasing me by turning his head towards me and away from me. I was so emotional just knowing that my baby was actually playing with me. It was such a GREAT feeling. At one point I got so emotional that he heard me and thought I was playing with him so he smiled even more. As I laughed and cried his smile seem to widen even bigger. SO So cute. It was the best feeling in the world. I just pray for more of those moments with him. It's crazy cause the day before I had just visited a friend who has a baby under the age of 1yr and it was hard seeing his interaction with others. I tried to get over it and was actually playing with the baby for a while and was making him laugh. It lasted for a while until I knew I "hit my limit". Then the next day the Lord gave me this little miracle. A little bitter sweet though. I pray this is just the beginning... another step

Joshua's Story

This is mainly for those of you who don't know already. I have a 10 month old baby boy who is my little miracle baby. I had a very healthy pregnancy and have never had any complications. At the end of my pregnancy I had a placental abruption and had to be rushed to the ER. I had to have an emergency C-section because of so much blood loss and my baby's heart rate dropped to about 60. When he was born they needed to resuscitate him and I was told he was basically lifeless. I was also told if it had only been 5 more minutes, both of us would have died.
He was then placed on a ventilator for about a 1 1/2 week. During that week I was told he probably would not make it and we'd have to turn the ventilator off and let God's will be done (at this time he was not breathing on his own & did not have a stable breathing pattern). So many people prayed and I am so so so greatful for you guys! I get so emotional just thinking about it. It was such a blessing to see all sorts of denominations and all types of backgrounds coming together to pray for our baby. Believe me, if it weren't for the prayers Tony and I would not have had the strength. Don't get me wrong, there were many moments we had to break down and just crumble before the Lord. Then we would shake it off and go full force with our faith. GOD IS GOOD!!
WEll, I can go on and on..
At the moment we are dealing with certain health issues because of the lack of oxygen at birth. This is simply something that happened not something he was born with(just to clarify for some of you).
I strongly believe God is in control of it all and has a great Plan for his life. This is only the beginning of the healing process and am believing that it may take some time. We continue to see God's healing hand upon our precious baby. I am very determined to help him become the best he can be and reach his maximum developmental potential. Continue to keep us in your prayers.