Hospital Birthday Boy

Well, it is Joshua's birthday today. It is official, he is one year old. We spent his birthday at the hospital. We have been here since Saturday night. I brought him in because he was having way to many seizures and was gasping to breath. His secretions overwhelm his little body. They tell me he will always have problems because his lungs are constantly being damaged from the constant aspiration. Basically because he suffered from lack of oxygen he has neurological issues. This causes him to have other issues and it all comes down to aspiration. So I was told that eventually and gradually his lungs will give out and just prepare myself for down the road (future). Happy Birthday??? Anyway, I'm not having a wonderful day like I thought I would. I thought I was going to be cheerful and had so many ideas of what I was going to do today with my boys for Joshua's b-day. Instead I find myself here with my little guy and my two boys visiting for a couple of hours. I'm trying really hard to not get tied up in all the emotional mumbo jumbo today. For the most part, I've been pretty strong these last couple of days. TODAY IS HIS BIRTHDAY THOUGH. I did not expect to be here.

My in laws brought cupcakes, a poster board sign, and balloons to have a little celebration with the boys. I really appreciate them making the best of it. I'm still trying to plan his birthday party and hopefully we can have it Sunday. I pray he gets better and we can go back home soon.

Thank you Lord for allowing my Joshua to be here with us a complete year. I also thank you for the progress we have seen even though it may seem as though we have many set backs at times. I pray for you to give me a fresh renewal of my faith, strength, and spirit. I know through all this your glory will be seen one way or another.