Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Sleep Baby Sleep

Well I really don't have a lot of time to post a whole lot right now. Joshua is still sick. He is currently on 3liters of oxygen and throughout the day on the cpap (looks like an oxygen mask but blows air to keep airway opened when he is having a hard time). We are doing treatments and doing everything like we usually do except we aren't on antibiotics. He has already tried 3-4 different ones and nothing really helped. So now we just wait and give him time. Hopefully that left side opens up and he clears up more. Right now he is needing lots of suctioning and constant monitoring. He does look more relaxed at home and rests more. He sleeps on and off throughout the day. So basically the key phrase I hear a lot from the doctors is "unfortunately we don't have a crystal ball" so Joshua can get better slowly or worse slowly. Well, at this point I'm just taking it day by day. I thank God for every day he gives me with him....whether it is days, months, or many years. However and whatever goes on I know the Lord knows best. This is what I am trusting and believing. My prayer is for Joshua to be happy and not suffer. Everything else will be taken care of by my Father in Heaven. So for now I am just letting him sleep all he wants cause he really needs to rest. Staying in the hospital for long periods of time really is draining. I know I haven't caught by yet and I'm not the one getting treatments and suctioned constantly....I can't imagine how tired he must feel.

Those of you who have been praying for us I thank you. I pray for strength, peace, and his Will. Another quick thing I want to address. Sometimes I think people want to be their for us, do something for us, or even say something to us. However, it is hard to figure out "what". I just want to say it's ok. Please don't concentrate on these things because sometimes these things aren't even the most important things that need to be done. The most important thing to us is to know you are there. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just listen. A recent thing I shared with a friend was telling them we are really not looking or waiting for the magical comforting word/words of wisdom. I think when people focus so much on these things it takes over and then all you have is avoidence. When it gets to hard for people they tend to just avoid the situation. In this case, I understand it is hard for some to see my little guy sick. Just having someone be there is the best thing.

As far as pictures I will have to post later.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

updates (Nov - April)----- Joshua Comes home sick from ICU

OK so I haven't posted anything in a long while. It has been tough lately. However I'm still living and learning....that's for sure! Well my last post he had surgery stayed in hospital from November 12-14...awesome right? Yes, then December 16 he was admitted again basically same (lungs and slight cold). It sent us straight to ICU. He was there from Dec. 16-22.....again another pretty short stay...thank you Lord. Still pretty hard time for us especially being so close to Christmas. Of course being the goof I am I pretty much went in there telling the nurses we were there just as a visit and I had a talk with Joshie. I made up my mind we were getting out quick cause I still didn't have all our presents yet. I was giving him only until Monday (3-4days). Joshua of course likes to do his own thing and we didn't leave until Tuesday. How funny is that!! I really think the Lord likes to see how I'm going to react. It's sometimes so comical the way things turn out. I told the nurses Joshua was just being stubborn. You better believe I was in there making them rearrange everything just so I could hold him in order to do manual cpt (patting his back firmly to loosen the stuff up in his lungs).

Well, after all this excitement (kidding of course)I went back to work! It felt so good to go back to teaching. Actually I didn't really go back full time I decided to just enter into the world of substitutes. My husband says he could see a difference in me as far as doing something I love doing. It was nice while it lasted. I do have to say it made me feel good when people gave me compliments about my teaching and classroom management. For a while it made me feel a little more normal or at least I had a little something that I had before I entered this whole "other world". Since I was able to go to different classrooms and schools I also met many people. At times I was able to share my experiences with other educators. I tell you...Joshie is such a little testimony even when I feel it is the hardest time for us. I also stopped substitute teaching to start tutoring for tests coming up. All this and juggled my boys very active scouts...etc..yes many activities. We do balance it out though to remain sane of course (keep in mind I have 4 boys... hahah).

Around March 11 Joshie became sick and it just escalated from there. It really wasn't that bad at first. I called the Dr. and got some stuff taken care of. He got better at first and then he was good during the days but horrible during the nights. This means we both weren't getting a whole lot of sleep. I also was thinking it might be allergies. I still think it played a role to where we are now. Towards the end of April we had already tried at least 3 antibiotics and couple of steroids. I took him in to DR. visit and to ER (which I knew they wouldn't keep him in cause during the day he was ok--not that bad). Then finally went in on April 26 and was admitted. He has been in ICU for about three weeks now. I will post more tomorrow and post pictures also.I am exhausted right now. He was just discharged late this afternoon but he is still a very sick little baby. I will give details tomorrow of what is going on. For now I will say...there is not much more they can really do but wait and see. His lungs are not strong. He is very tired and not really fighting as strong as before. This time its really been hard for him. They discharged us cause they really weren't doing a whole lot anymore. He can either get better slowly or get worse slowly. However, God is great and its been quite a testing time for us. It is awesome to know that he is still sending us little signs and fresh revelations even at the hardest time in our life. We are needing strength and peace more than ever right now. I will share more tomorrow.